The city weighs heavily on me. I miss the safe enclosure of the forest, I miss the open freedom of the uiterwaarden (river forelands). But the towering buildings suffocate me, and the sea lacks willows on the horizon. It always smells of holiday and the gulls sing a constant cacofony and shit on everything. 100 houses under my roof, but no homes. No wood, no stove, no pets. The butcher doesn't know my name. The thermostat goes all the way up to 30, yet I find no warmth. The radiator startes back at me defiantly. HP and Samsung are my closest friends, but various Sony's stay untouched. Everything must have a purpose, and the kitchen is cleaned by ladies who speak none of my 4 languages. 
But there is no way back.