Learning. About people.

So I've been to this pub in town a couple times now, and every single time there was a guy behind the bar and waiting tables. He reminds me of my cousin, but with a lot of piercings in strange places on his face. I'd seen him smoking outside a few times on my way to the library, but never realised he worked there. He is the kind of person I look up to, the kind of person I wish would be interested in even talking to me. Not because of the piercings or anything, but because of the way he carries himself: confidently, like he 'owns the place'. I wish I could be like that in more situations.
Anyway. Today I went over to the bar to ask if they still had the magic card we'd accidentally left there two weeks ago. He went on searching for it but couldn't find it. "It's not here, luv.' he called from the back, and it sounded surprisingly sweet coming from a 20something instead of the 40+ people who usually use term with me. Later, when he came to pick up our empty glasses, he smiled and handed me the card, saying that he'd found it after all. But instead of cool, or detatched, or matter-of-factly, he seemed shy, or vulnerable. And suddenly I felt the nature of the desire to befriend him change. I was now interested in him as an actual person instead of someone who would help me feel better about myself by giving me attention. That made me realise that, even though it's sort of integral to the brain to judge people immidiately on the little information we can deduce in a second, I should really try not to.

 

Sorry, I've been ill and I'm really really tired..